You need to tell a stranger all the personal details of your relationship then pay them a shed load of money to stand up and talk about you for 40 minutes to all your favourite people…….why wouldn’t you want to be a bit selective about who this person is??!!
It’s a short, but very intense relationship that you’ll have with a celebrant, and you have the privilege of paying for it! You need to feel comfortable enough to tell this person lots of personal details about your relationship, and find them interesting enough to listen to for 30/40 minutes, it's a tricky decision to make! Here's a bit of info to help you make this difficult decision
1. Initial research
This will probably start on their website, or with a physical bit of marketing like a flyer or advert (if you've met them at a wedding fair for example). Most of these sites might tell you similar information, things like 'Your ceremony your way' and a real emphasis on the fact a celebrant talks all about you. This is completely true and is definitely a reason to book a celebrant instead of a registrar, but it doesn't really help you to fish through the many, many celebrant websites you've probably already seen. What you really need to do is to read between the lines, and try to figure out what they are not telling you.
If you are a male-female couple, chances are, the celebrant will cater for you. If you are anything other than this, you may need to dig a little deeper. Are there any same sex or gender fluid photos on their website or social channels? If not, they might not be comfortable with same-sex celebrations. It's not just about gender though. If you want a wedding in a wedding venue, again, you'll probably be covered by every celebrant out there. However, if you want something a little more quirky and unique, then you need to look for any photos or wording that suggest that this celebrant is up for anything that isn't typical. It all depends on what is important to you and what your vision is.
First impressions
After the initial website trawling, you narrow it down and either set up a zoom call, or arrange to meet the celebrant in person. On this meeting, be warned, they are assessing you too! It has to be a right fit for both of you, like any relationship. If you have a ceremony with less than typical factors, then you need to make sure your celebrant is open minded and most importantly, that they are excited about your less than typical ideas.
If you didn't manage to find out anything from their promotional material, you need to ask some pretty direct questions at this stage. Are they open to a ceremony on a beach, do they have strong feelings about race, gender, ethnicity, or whatever is important to you as a couple. On this first meeting, think to yourself, would I be happy going out for a coffee with this person? Would we have anything to say to each other? I get that you're not booking a celebrant to be your best mate, but you want to at least be on the same page as ultimately, you need to tell this person a lot of personal information if you want the ceremony to be personalised. If you can't see it, maybe try someone else.
Creative ideas
Do you already have strong ideas of how you want your ceremony to be? Or are you looking for someone to do some of the creative work for you? This could really dictate what type of celebrant you should go for. Some celebrants are very hands on and creative, others sit back, let you talk and try to realise your vision. Not all celebrants will be right for everyone!
You essentially need to decide how much input you want from them. If you've been to loads of weddings, you read rock n roll bride every month and you have a clear vision on the style, symbolic actions and general theme of your wedding, try to talk to the celebrant about this in your initial meeting. If they come out with a lot of ideas that clash with your vision, and are quite keen to push their ideas forward, you know it's not going to work. On the other hand, if you've not been to many weddings and you're struggling for inspiration on what to do, maybe a creative ideas celebrant is exactly what you need to get you really excited about your wedding ceremony. It's all about personalities.
Location
Where are you based? and where is the celebrant based? Being a musician for the last 15 years, I’ve been asked to travel all over the country and the world! But a lot of celebrants like to stay in their local area. Ask first about this, and any extra charges, and if they need to stay over the night before. The last thing you want is a celebrant stuck on the M6 on the morning of your wedding!
Do you have a venue, or do you want an unusual location for your wedding? That’s the beauty of having a celebrant, as it’s not a legal ceremony, it can happen anywhere. Is your celebrant open to a ceremony on a canal boat, or up a mountain? They need to be as excited about this as you. They will of course need to visit the site, and the health and safety aspects of the location are going to be largely evaluated by them (as they have been trained to do this), but you still want some excitement about that amazing location you’ve chosen.
Content
What is said in the ceremony will be all down to the script that the celebrant writes. They will decide what to write, after you've had a lengthy in-person chat about your story and your vision. They should guide you on all the aspects they know they'll need to write about, but if you have anything specific or unusual about what you want to be said, they may not know to ask you this, so speak up!
Do you want any religious aspects to your ceremony? Not all celebrants are open to this, ask early on if this is a deal breaker for you. Do you want symbolic actions like hand fasting, again, not all celebrants want to do this sort of thing, so make sure these subjects are raised in the initial meeting.
Ultimately, you need to have a think about the tone you want your ceremony to have. How formal or informal, how funny/anecdotal or sentimental do you want it. It's worth mentioning here that the ceremony should feel very different to the speeches later in the day, you don't want too much repetition. This can sometimes mean choosing a celebrant who has a different vibe to the people reading speeches later (groom, best man, father of the bride, bride etc). This is just a suggestion though, if you want your ceremony to be jovial and led by a really flamboyant speaker, then choose a celebrant that can do this.
Price
The price of celebrants can vary, but make sure you read the small print as to what you’re getting for your money. There might be a standard fee for one meeting and the delivery of the script on the day. Then there could be additional fees for a second meeting, revisions to the script, a rehearsal ceremony, help to write personalised vows. The ‘cheaper’ celebrants may end up being the same price as more expensive ones, depending on the extras that you may want.
A celebrant may charge anywhere from £500 - £1000+ depending on their level of experience, their demand, and the services they offer within this price. Mostly, the price will be dictated by how many hours they are likely to give you. If your first instinct is that this is more expensive than a registrar, then think about the hours spent leading up to the day.
A celebrant has a zoom call with you, then a 2-3 hour meeting to find out all about your story. They might spend a further 3 or 4 hours writing the initial script, then with emails and calls over the following months making revisions to a script, they might spend another 4 or 5 hours on your ceremony. On the day, they will turn up a few hours early to set up the space, then deliver the ceremony itself. With a registrar the ceremony wording is pretty much set, any personalisation (like a personal vow) is done by you, so the prep time for a registrar might only be for a few emails. They turn up a lot closer to the start of the ceremony on the day, so hopefully you can see why the price is so different.
Summary
Go with your gut. If something doesn't quite click, you're not with the right celebrant. Unlike a lot of wedding suppliers, you really are hiring the person and what they stand for. The product, is sort of, them. You need to like how they talk about things, in this case..you! So do your research, ask the right questions, and like any good relationship, you'll know when it's right...then you'll have to pay them!! That last bit is (hopefully) different to other relationships you have :-)
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